Is it strange that I feel more grown up than I did a week ago? Is it sad that I already miss my dog terribly?
I'm out of my parents house, officially, and have been for a week now. It's weird. I love it, but it's weird. I really do feel more grown up. I am finding myself to be a little braver, a little bolder, each day that I've been gone. I have been giving out advice left and right to friends, not knowing where my sudden knowledge is coming from. I feel a sudden responsibility to take care of other people, and to take care of myself, more so than before. Can it really happen that fast? All it takes is a different address?
For those that want to know about our house: it's awesome. Seriously, I love it. 900 sq foot ranch, 1/2 finished basement, lovely kitchen, 2 car garage. Fabulous location, walking distance to necessities. Susie's great, too. I know we've only been roommates for a week but so far, it's been superb. We're finding we have a lot in common, and I appreciate our little chats. She's a wonderful person. I spent some time thinking about my habits as a roommate...so Susie, this list is for you :)
-I kick so much in my sleep that my sheets and mattress pad will wind up curled in a ball on the floor or at the edge of my bed, every single morning.
-When I get home from work I need a 15-20 minute "recharge".
-If I'm wearing my blue polar bear pants and a hoodie with the hood up, I've had a rough day.
-If I'm not doing anything else and my music is not on, something is wrong.
-Yes, there is a giant paper banana in my room, signed by an American Idol contestant. No, I'll never get rid of it.
-I keep common areas clean. Can't say the same for my room.
-Sometimes I will sit at the kitchen table writing. You'll know my mood by how hard I am using the pen.
I think those are a great start :)
As most of you know, work has been a nonstop crazy roller coaster ride ever since late September. Like I am busy from 8:30-5, every single day, and working most Saturday's to do new introductions or training's. I never have a day where I have to come up with "new" work- it's always there. My to do lists are pages long. It's exhausting, but at the same time, rewarding. When I hear from a volunteer that they feel impacted by the work they did for us, it makes it all worth it. When I take a new volunteer to meet their patient and they instantly click, it's worth it. Plus, I'm starting to see that I'm actually pretty decent at this job. Yesterday I got 20 applications turned into me from a class of social work students. I don't know what I'll do with them all, but it was exciting regardless. Some days I feel like I'm letting people down, if we can't get a volunteer in that area or I couldn't get that item they need. But I have learned that I can only do what I can do, I cannot solve every problem. I can just do my best.
If you could keep some people I love dearly in your prayers, I would most appreciate it. My brother, his wife Sara, Sara's sister Heather, and their parents Pat and Terry. I know you are all mourning the loss of Anton. I love you all. We're going to get through this. Don't be hard on yourselves and allow yourselves time to be angry, to be upset. That's okay. We'll get through it.
Em and Aly, two of the sweetest people I've ever known, lost their dear mom this week to cancer. Em, you'll always be one of my best friends. Your mama raised two beautiful young women who will, no doubt, make an incredible impact on this world. The mercy community is here for you, and we all love you.
I suppose that's all that's new. Just growing up, buying groceries, paying bills, Missing my old golden retriever...and, unfortunately, seeing hearts break over terrible losses. I just wish I could take away everyone's pain!